Vick Stars in MNF Blowout

This is a bigger mismatch than Andy Reid in the punt, pass and kick competition.  -@CPratt20

Dan Snyder has just been stopped by security while running to the Eagles' sideline with an $80 million contract for Mike Vick.  -@Jacoby_

Even when Kevin Kolb plays Madden '11, he starts Mike Vick.  -@MikeScorpio

McNabb's New Contract Jokes

What they didn't tell you is that the Redskins gave Rex Grossman $2.6M ($1.3M guaranteed) to run the 2-minute offense for the next 5 years  (tholzerman)

 

With that money, McNabb can BUY cardiovascular endurance.  (BlkSportsOnline)

 

Is the 88 million the Redskins gave McNabb the most expensive apology ever? (mcdevious16)

 

It's kind of like saying you want to break up with a chick and then getting her pregnant.  (Mrphotogenic)

 

This McNabb deal reminds me of the time I cheated on my girlfriend and then apologized by proposing...and buying her a yacht  (TFG_WiseGuy)

 

Dear dan snyder, I need 78 million, I dont know your 2 minute offense either.  (mayorDMV)

 

NFL Week 10

(DAL @ NYG)  Wade Phillips seen outside Giant's Stadium with wire cutters, wearing rubber gloves and rubber boots.  (MIKESPN)

(DAL @ NYG)  "You will see Jason Garrett smile. That's kind of what he does." Troy Aikman brings us inside the game.  (DevineBoston)

(DAL)  Pacquiao has more wins in the New dallas stadium then the Cowboys do! That's crazy! (therealkiss)

(NYJ @ CLE)  Braylon Edwards is trying to fight the Browns! His first-ever fight against a non-midget. Good for him! (Sportspickle)

(MIA @ TEN)  If Chad Pennington ever graced the cover of Madden, I'm afraid he might die. (fauxjohnmadden)

(MIA @ TEN)  Defenses need to employ the reverse bounty pool to ensure that crappy QB's like Kerry Collins never leave the game.  (TextMessageQB)

(MIA, DET)  Matthew Stafford and Chad Pennington are in a dead heat to have a new career saving shoulder surgery named after them.  (TextMessageQB)

(CIN @ IND)  It's a shame that Reggie Bush has to give back his Heisman but Carson Palmer doesn't. 

(PJ C.  Hamilton, NJ)

(DET @ BUF)  I thought the Bills were gonna blow it there, but luckily Shaun Hill decided to the throw the ball away on the 2 point conversion.  (Jason N., Scotch Plains, NJ)

(HOU @  JAX)  What do you do on hail mary? KNOCK IT ....nevermind just try to catch it.  (TextMessageQB)

NFL Week 9

(ARI @ MIN)  Next great idea for the NFL: active/inactive head coaches... Brad Childress is inactive today (player's decision)  (@tantoncalamity)

(ARI @ MIN)   maybe Childress is the source of Harvin's migraines... (@TheReal Doyle)

(ARI @ MIN)  They should have let Harvin handle Childress. That would have been the biggest beatdown since Screach v Horshack.  @jakum77

(ARI @ MIN)  Wow, Brett Favre. These passes are so bad that they're making your penis look good.  (@andrewnm)

(ARI @ MIN)  The level mediocrity on both of these teams is exceptional!

(CHI @ BUF)  QB Ryan Fitzpatrick: "A big thing is making sure that we don't fall behind early." Doesn't exactly inspire confidence.  (@BearsTwit)

(CHI @ BUF)  Do it.  Do it man.  You should pick the Bills.  They’ve never let me down. (Jay N., Bills fan)

(CHI @ BUF)  Dear USA, we're sorry about Bieber and Celine Dion, but really, Bears and Bills? Sincerely, Canada.  (@HarryMclane)

(NYJ @ DET)  big deal if Gholston is starting ... its like in college BB when its senior day and they start a senior that was a bench rider for four yrs.  (@2real4youz)

(NYJ @ DET)  Leave it up to Detroit to draft a kicker with the 2nd pick (@JagsTom)

(NYJ @ DET)  Rex Ryan doesn't wanna have a G--damn snack right now. 

 (@JayScott1914) 

(SD @ HOU)  Chargers have a punt blocked.. in other news, water is wet and Joe Buck is still a robot.  (@fauxjohnmadden)

(SD @ HOU)  Who needs vincent jackson when we got Seyi Ajirotutu!  (@austinisnbd)

(SD @ HOU)  I just Ajirotutu'd in my pants! (@sivart)

(SD @ HOU)  Ajirotutu! Can he punt?  (@ronanvance)

(NE @ CLE)  Cleveland should put the "We Are All Witnesses" sign with Peyton Hillis. I think that will hurt LeBron more than the commercial  (@MikeFultonisms)

(NE @ CLE)  To the Pats executive who thought it would be funny to switch Tom Brady with Carson Palmer today: this isn't funny anymore.  (@sportsguy33)

(NE @ CLE)  Forget Carson Palmer, it's like they have Justin Beiber in there. Oh wait... (@WilliamFKing)

(MIA @ BAL)  Chad Henne is atrocious. That's all for now.  (@thelindershow)

(MIA @ BAL)  There's the Chad Henne I know and...don't love. (@maverickbarrett)

(MIA @ BAL)  Dolphins most aggressive play call this year: A fake fake punt.  (@jmpeltz)

(MIA @ BAL)  In the last 3 weeks, Dolphins kicker Dan Carpenter has scored more points than Chris Bosh.  (@fauxjohnmadden)

(NO @ CAR)  If the Panthers offense was anymore conservative...Sarah Palin would be campaigning for it. (@adultcarolina)

(NYG @ SEA)  John Lennon is starting at QB for Seattle. (@GrudenLove Not)

(NYG @ SEA)  I love this new "receivers hold onto the ball rather of batting it up in the air" offense the Giants have implemented this week!   (@scottbutler5)

(NYG @ SEA)  That coverage by Earl Thomas was CC Brown-esque. #nyg

(NYG @ SEA)  Eli is outplaying the other Manning today (Todd C., HamiltonNJ)

(NYG @ SEA)  Yeah No. 12 for Seattle is out. Return questionable.  (@MikeGarafolo)

(IND @ PHI)  Kolb better get real comfortable on the sideline, might want trade in his pads to get a set of pom poms and cheerleading unifrom!  (@kaliops24)

(IND @ PHI)  If I owned the Eagles one of the assistant coaches would be responsible for stealing and hiding Reid's challenge flag before every game.  (@bcthomas)

(IND @ PHI)  Andy Reid just challenged to have a couple extra inches added on. Yep, Andy, fine - EVERY guy thinks about it.  (@gregbrady71)

(IND @ PHI)  You're really telling me Andy Reid has been here 13 years and we're just seeing that Punt, Pass and Kick video for the first time?  (@g mck7)

Punt,Pass, Kick:  Andy Reid, age 13 competes against others in his age group.

(IND @ PHI)  Andy Reid subsequently ate three of those kids.   (@officialreview)

(IND @ PHI)  Andy reid look like the white version of Blindside as a kid.  (stacks07)

(DAL @ GB)  Notice how Wade Phillips always looks like his ice cream cone just fell on the ground?  (@JeffSchultzAJC)

(DAL @ GB)  Tonight you can watch "The Walking Dead" on AMC or check 'em out on NBC against the Packers. (@Chessehead Dave)

(PIT @ CIN)  Roger Goodell is in attendance tonight so that he can directly send fines down to James Harrison. (@wjmoore17)

Redskins work out JaMarcus Russell...Not a good sign for the 2010 Skins.

(WAS)  Shanahan says McNabb is out of shape then looks at JaMarcus Russell. He should look at the cast of "The Biggest Loser" next. 

(WAS)  I don't know if the Redskins should be concerned or not, but JaMarcus Russell showed up to his workout wearing the number 79.

(WAS)  JaMarcus Russell had a workout with the Redskins. Clearly, they're looking for a QB conditioned to run a 2-min offense.  

(WAS)  JaMarcus Russell is working out for the Redskins. Shanahan must think he's a better fit for the 3-4 than Haynesworth.

(WAS)  Everyone calm down... turns out that JaMarcus Russell was brought in as the head janitor ...

Randy Moss, World Series, Week 8 MNF

 Randy Moss Waived:  Brad Childress is Dumb

(MIN)  When's the last time a non-kicker played for 3 NFL teams in one season?

(MIN)  Vikings released Randy Moss earlier today. I wonder who the Bengals will release to clear a roster spot for him.

(MIN)  Note to Pats: Sign Moss just so "Pats trade Randy Moss to Minnesota for a 3rd round pick and Randy Moss" can run on ESPN's ticker. (@sportsguy33)

(MIN)  Brad Childress has challenged the ruling on the field that the Vikings acquired Randy Moss this season.

(MIN)  What’s the difference between a box of rocks and Brad Childress? They’re both dumb, but at least a box of rocks can handle a little Moss.

(MIN)  Isn't it pretty obvious that Childress is trying to make some of his other bad challenges look less atrocious?

(BUF)  Bills with first shot at Moss! Good thing we lost all those games! (Jason Nass)

 World Series

(TEX @ SF)  Seriously...what is Ozzie Guillen saying?

(TEX @ SF)  Lincecum's next 24 hours: Pitch in Texas, fly back to California, vote "Yes" on Prop 19.

(TEX @ SF)  Cliff Lee makes flipping the ball into the stands look effortless. Thanks for that, Joe Buck.

(TEX @ SF)  That sac bunt gave Tim McCarver his first erection since 1973.

(TEX @ SF)  It's hard to look like a bigger D-Bag than Pee Wee Herman but somehow Lincecum pulled it off

(TEX @ SF)  Don’t worry Rangers. You’ll always be 2010 World Series Champions to the children of Ghana.

(TEX @ SF)  Right now, there's a one man riot in New Canaan.  Is there anybody aliiiivve out there tonight?! 

(TEX @ SF)  Rooting for the SF Giants not because I am jumping on bandwagon but because there are probably alot of Cowboy fans rooting for the Rangers.      (@JohnHenitz)
                                                                                                    

 Week 8:  Monday Night Football

(HOU @ IND)  For god's sake, gruden, it's KEVIN walter, not Mike.

(HOU @ IND)  The next weekend at bernie's will be called weekend at Jim Caldwell's.

(HOU @ IND)  Nothing like being on the phone with cable co. for 2 hrs with no picture and having the tech guy ask if I'm watching the MNF game.wtf.

(HOU @ IND)  Wow David Carr is having a tough time with the Colts tonight!! Oh wait, that no. 8 is MattSchaub.

(HOU @ IND)  After MNF game, Ron Jaworski will dress up like Ines Sainz & visit the Colts' locker room to experience Manning's ball-handling skills.

(HOU @ IND)  "If you have a great quarterback, and I'm not saying a greater hamburger or a great hotel, I'm saying a great quarterback, they can cover a lot of things." (Jon Gruden).